I was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday and today.
It started out as a normal "oh hi, how are you?" kind of conversation, but it escalated. We ended up talking a small bit about life, and, since I wasn't really very cheerful at the time, I said that the worst part about life just might be living.
I know that isn't true, but I was being an idiot. Don't judge.
Anyway, this friend responded with a passionate "you're wrong" by giving me some quote on the difference between living and surviving. I said I basically agreed, but in the end life is just... cold, bitter, horrible, unfair, and, at times, unbearable.
I was talking to another friend about this last week. He was telling me how he finds himself depressed too often. There's never anything to do but sleep, he said. Another thing he said was that every time he would be with friends and have a good time, he'd return home, and the depression would set in with extra impact, as if to balance out the good time he had.
I can relate. It's crazy, and it's a tough thing to deal with. I'm not going to conclude this post, by the way. This topic isn't something I can end, only you can do that for yourself. My only reason for posting this is to get your lazy brain to work. Ask yourself something: Are you happy?
My guess is that you're too busy to think about that, and even right now, some of you aren't really answering that question. Even though you've slowed down enough to hop on Blogspot and read this retarded blog by that Clark kid, you still have things to do. Your mind isn't paying attention, but maybe you're grasping what I mean now. So ask yourself again, maybe even out loud, "Am I happy?"
Crazy question, I know. I'm not trying to get you to be all depressed now, but I want you to think a little about this. Life is short, but it's beyond powerful. Do something with it, even if that something is merely improving your view on life, because that will affect the people around you, and affect your impact on people around you.
Think.
1 comment:
Good blog. "Think," you say. Well, I did some thinking and here's what I came up with.
Am I happy?
I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, a car to drive, food always in the house, books to read, entertainment options galore. But this doesn't necessarily make me "happy."
I have two loving, supportive parents and 5 wonderful siblings. I have a new job that I love. I live in a country where I am not physically persecuted for my beliefs. I have the opportunity to learn something new every single day, whether it's how to take x-rays or a character trait in my little sister. I have a best friend who knows how I feel just by one word texts. And I have the assurance of resting in my Savior's arms for eternity, no matter what the Devil taunts me with.
I look at this last paragraph and consider myself blessed, not necessarily "happy." This may lead you to say, "Aha! So, you're not happy! You just think that's how you're 'supposed' to feel!" but, in fact, I am. Happy, that is. (I'm also blessed, but we'll stick with the topic at hand for now).
I'm so happy with my life right now that I refuse to consider any other point of view. I could focus on the absences in my life: I don't have a significant other; money is tight; people I know are hurting. But I am tired of feeling sick, disappointed, depressed, and guilty about my life. I am CHOOSING to be happy.
What's that? You say that I'm only happy because I "have life going" for me? There is truth in that. But I also have a past, and with a past comes regret. I daily struggle with regrets, guilt, shame, depression, even the Devil himself sometimes. But I have reached a point in my life where I am choosing to be happy, choosing to be optimistic, choosing to look Life square in the eyes and say, "I'm ready. Bring me what's next."
I am happy to be where I am, even though the roads I have taken caused me unhappiness. I have learned from them, and am determined to travel new thoroughfares.
This is a rather lengthy response and I don't know if it will be allowed, but you asked me to think. This is what I came up with. If you're still reading this, maybe there's a reason we're still Facebook friends! Haha :P
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